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Sunday, December 25, 2005

K-k-k-k-ing-g-g-g K-k-k-k-k-ong-g-g-g-g-g 

It's a visual extravaganza, lush cinematography and great characterizations ...

People are always telling me that you need to go into these things with a willingness to suspend belief - which is fine, I have no problems at all with the twenty-five foot ape. In fact, this Kong is great, thoroughly detailed and a more expressive personality than the actors in the movie. Even though he looks like a silverback gorilla and does things no silverback gorilla could do (or at least, nowhere near that fast) that's not my problem. I don't mind the overblown CGI or that everybody in that canyon during the stampede of brontosaurii would undoubtably have died. No, that's not my problem with this movie.

My problem isn't really that it's too freakin' long. Jackson does need to learn how to find the essential details of a story and to present those details in something less than three hours. Considerably less. Like, an hour less would have been good, especially since there was so much obviously extraneous material, like the whole battle with the insects and the overwrought slo-mo shots. However, I could even live with that, since the story never seemed to drag at any point.

It's not even that there's something really wrong with the timeline at the end of the movie. When the ape is paraded onstage, it's night. Presumably, it's an eight or nine o'clock premiere, (I'd even be willing to accept that it started at eleven, the 'late show',) but there's just not enough action between Kong's escape and the time he climbs the tower for the night to have elapsed. Yet, there is the sun rising, just in time for the ape and the woman to make their heartfelt connection atop the tower. No matter, such things are easily overlooked, just as easily as ignoring the fact that the sun is rising over New Jersey.

No, what really bothered me was that New York in the winter is freakin' cold and ice-skating with the gorilla and having him blow snow on you is freakin' cold and climbing around on steel runged ladders on top of the Empire State building is freakin' cold and none of it gets any warmer when you're wearing a sheer silk dress with no sleeves. I'm sorry, that woman would have been a useless, shivering mess. I don't mind a self-consitent fantasy reality, but c'mon people, it's just not plausible to have her doing anything in that outfit, under those conditions, but dying of hypothermia.

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